Sunday, February 07, 2010

There are very few things that can make me question God's plan. I feel like I've been blessed to have a faith that doesn't need the answers to every question. I can really only remember one other time when I've felt completely shaken.

I have to be honest to say that I had my second experience with shaken faith this weekend. Thursday while I was home for lunch, Jon and I got a call with very sad news, and I was absolutely heartbroken.

On my way back to work, I absolutely sobbed my heart out. I screamed and cried and asked God, "WHY?! How could you? We prayed so hard, and the request was so small in the grand scale of things, why this?" I cried most of the rest of the day. In the back of my mind, I could understand that everything happens in God's time and God's plan, but in the front of my mind I was confused and angry and just extremely sad.

I had time to cool down over the weekend, but this morning was Celebration Sunday in church, and a majority of the time is devoted to worship. I normally love time in worship, but today I was tired and confused and my heart just wasn't in it this morning.

But as I stood there, I felt God say, "but I deserve your worship always; even when you don't feel like it." I know this is true, so I entered in anyway.

And the amazing thing is, God promises to meet us when we are obedient. I heard, "I am glorified in your worship. I am here. I know you're hurt and confused. I know you don't understand. But I love you anyway, and I want you to press on. I'm still in control."

But You are holy,
Enthroned in the praises of Israel.
-Psalm 22:3


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