Tuesday, September 02, 2008

Beautiful

Entering my fourth week here in Knoxville and at Two Rivers, I am having a blast!

I finally had a chance to meet with Chris, the youth ministry pastor here, last week, and I have a much better vision for my role here and my job moving forward. I feel much better to have some solid responsibility, and I'm excited to pursue another challenge.

One thing I have been wrestling with and processing (already after three weeks - God isn't wasting time getting on my case!) is my own identity and life mission. I had a time of prayer over me last week, and it was very intense, but also very healing. It jump started a process of reflection and drawing closer to God to discover what He has planned for me. It's a peaceful, powerful feeling.

After the prayer time, I was encouraged to spend my quiet time asking God "Who am I?" and listening for the responses. It's been exciting! I am discovering that I am an encourager (1 Thessalonians 5:11), a force to be reckoned with (Romans 8:31), and a servant of God (Psalm 34:22), among others. There was one descriptor, however, that completely overwhelmed me.

All my life I have struggled, like most women, with physical appearance. I have never been completely confident or happy with the way I look. I have been liking myself a little more recently, but only because I've lost 40 pounds in the last two years. One thing prayed over me last Tuesday was power over the lies of the mirror.

When we are girls, continuing into womanhood, we are always told, "God thinks you're beautiful," or "God created you beautiful just as you are," or, a little more intense, "Christ is the perfect Bridegroom who cherishes you." Even as a leader, I use those lines when speaking to insecure girls. But they're lines - they've become cliche - and it's hard to take them seriously to heart. When you still have to go home to look in the mirror, it's hard to take someone's word second-hand that God thinks you're beautiful.

But last week, while I was listening for who I am, God told me Himself that I am beautiful. I cried then and there. It means so much more coming directly from the lips of my Creator.

The king is enthralled by your beauty; honor him, for he is your lord.
~Psalm 11:45

1 comments:

Katie- I'm so excited to read all that God is doing in you. BTW, I've known for many years that you are indeed beautiful. Ann V

Post a Comment

Twitter Delicious Facebook Digg Stumbleupon Favorites More