Friday, December 15, 2006

Constant Frustration

I constantly find myself with this problem: the word 'love' doesn't work. I love pizza. I love taking hot baths. I love to dance. I love to sing. I love my boyfriend. I love my God.

Something is missing.

This word doesn't even begin to encompass the range of emotions that we use it for. Every time I touch Jon, look into his eyes, hear him speaking to me, or just sense that he's near, I feel completely overwhelmed. He makes me endlessly happy, and I love him. But there's more, and there are not words for what I actually feel. Even as I type these words, it frustrates me that I can't accurately express the emotion.

'Love' is so inadequate.

Now, if I love Jon that much, then I cannot even begin to fathom coming up with a word for the love of my God. That is something that is life-changing and real. I can sing praises forever... and trust me, I love to sing... but it doesn't begin to touch the all-encompassing love that I have for my Creator. And it reminds me of my human-ness. I am not adequate... my words can't bring things into being or seal eternity or even express the deepest truths.

I am so thankful that God it adequate for me... and so much more.

Which reminds me of how much I love Him, and I end up right back in the same place I started... 'love' is just not enough.

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